My hearing is fading, and i now watch movies with the subtitles on. Difficult to know where the problem is, my ears or my brain. So i don’t hear well sometimes, and i try to speak even less than before.

Sandi faded in the months before she died, and slowly now i am also beginning to fade (or at least that’s what it feels like). My asymptote gradually approaches the axis; unlike some functions, mine will never cross it during my own personal infinity.

The light dims, and the sounds quiet. Words lose their meaning; symbols blur into one another. Old age creeps up.

My memory is getting worse: when i pour myself a cup of coffee, i have to remember to take it with me & drink it and not leave it behind on the counter. Recently i got myself a big rechargeable coffee cup that will keep my coffee warm even if I forget it for a while; that helps.

My neurologist tells me that my corpus callosum has atrophied; my eye doctor says that my optic nerves are thinning. What’s left of my brain? Not much, but enough to go on.

Dealing with disappointment is part of life, especially as we get older, and i’m getting used to it.

~

The primary conclusion? Life is a crapshoot; you get what you get. Abilities and opportunities — some people get lucky, and some get screwed. We do the best we can.

Wake up every day and be thankful, that’s the goal.