Whenever i’m processing difficult emotions, i tend to transfer & associate those emotions with whatever music happens to be on. When i hear those songs again, however many years later, the emotions just come pouring out; it’s out of my control. After the TBI, my most common reaction to hearing such a song is to cry — so if you’re ever with me and i’m crying, it’s probably from music.

Just before my suicide attempt, i was learning to play ‘Summer, Highland Falls’ on the piano (it’s an older Billy Joel song, from 1974). Hearing it now (or even thinking about it, sometimes) is almost guaranteed to make me cry.

(Here’s a link to a 1995 performance) https://youtu.be/vvOnuPYiUzw?si=QFUf_2T-FpuC5VGs

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Unthinking uniformity tends to be a tool of fascism: diversity and difference tend to encourage freedom and free expression.

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Some days i just don’t feel like writing. Some days i don’t feel like doing anything. Maybe this whole writing-a-sequel-to-my-first-book idea is ill-conceived. We’ll see.

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Part of what The Big Bang Theory TV show is about is the emptiness & the disappointment of having eidetic memory and simultaneously being the highest form of genius: sometimes those are bad things, not good things; Sheldon’s life is not easily a happy one.

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How tempting is it to revise history? Switching the movie that I saw with my friend Tracey (in college) to “Good Morning, Vietnam” from “Field of Dreams” … very tempting. (I really wish it had been Good Morning, Vietnam — such a better movie. But you can’t change the past.)

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My advice?
Flirt with people a little.
Even if you’re the wrong gender, it’s always nice to be flirted with.
What else is life for?

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And getting back to The Big Bang Theory, both it and the series Young Sheldon were both favorites for Sandi and me. I recently bought the DVD box sets and i’m watching both series again; it’s like spending time with Sandi in my imagination. And there are a bunch of episodes that i do not remember at all!