I don’t ever want to be in love with anyone again. Love has *not* been a positive thing in my life. Yes, i’ve gotten some life experience out of love, but it’s mostly just brought me pain.

I came to this realization thinking about T. If i keep interacting with her, i’m just gonna fall in love with her and it will only lead to pain, whether or not she could actually love me back. It’s just pain. I need to not see T anymore (or at least not very often).

I don’t know … i wish there were something positive to do, but the only thing i can come up with is negative — don’t do this; don’t do that; don’t see T; don’t try to help her more than you have to. I’m just a fucked-up individual who can’t help it. I’ve just got to stay away from love.

Like Linus said in Peanuts: no problem is too big to run away from.