If i won’t be able to remember new people i meet (or at least not very well), is it worth meeting them in the first place? Probably not.

Do i tend to watch new TV shows or read new books? No. I mostly watch & read the shows & books that i’m already familiar with; they are more comforting and predictable.

Is that a little cowardly? Maybe. I don’t care.

It’s part of why i don’t want another romantic relationship — it’s too difficult; it hurts too much. It’s a lot easier being alone.

My memory isn’t going to get any better. I’m probably as healed as i’m going to be. Sandi did her best to accept me as i am, but i knew she was frustrated by my limitations — who wouldn’t be?

Maybe it wasn’t fair to Sandi, the whole thing; maybe i never should have put her through all that. Yes, i did help her to get through terminal cancer; and for that i’m glad. My time with Sandi was the high point of my life; maybe it was enough.

I guess i finally got to the point where i could love myself for myself, shortcomings notwithstanding.

This is it. This is life.

It doesn’t matter if i don’t remember everything. I’ll remember enough.